P2: My Careers Presentation

Written on: Monday September 9, 2008

Okay real quick entry here. So today I did a presentation for my careers class. I was totally unprepared (so was half the class), so I improvised

I don’t know if you’ve taken Careers, but it’s probably the gayest thing ever. You spend a bunch of time writing down your “strong personality traits & weaknesses” your “characteristics” and your little “values.” I hate it. My teacher isn’t making it any better either. And on top of that the course is in French. Bummer!

Well anyways the presentation requires me to write down 5 of my traits/values/interests (in a nice detailed manner mind you). Then we need to pick out an object that describes ourselves and those traits. I didn’t really have anything planned, so I used a bottle of Old Spice (best deodorant ever).

Last year I’d probably bomb the speech. And most students this time did. I on the other hand have extra-sharp pickup artist skills, so this shit doesn’t bother me at all because I’m totally chill & naturalJ. I was a bit nervous actually, but not nearly as much as the other kids. It was my first real presentation ever since I got into this Pickup stuff (started in the summer).

I described the Old Spice as friendly, confident, calm, money, and hockey. Its friendly because when you spray it, it attaches to other people. It’s confident because you put yourself out there. It’s calm because your in control. Now the money part got me. So I asked the class if they’ve heard of the English expression “you’re money”. It doesn’t matter because I still said the Old Spice was “money” in my French speech as I was being rudely interrupted by my asshole of a teacher, Mme Fucktard. And finally Old Spice is hockey because after I play hockey, I spray it :). I talked about how Old Spice was also a long-standing company and how my Grandpa used to use it back in the day and how that translates to how I love the economy.

And then I got into my “personality colour.” My colour is “green” which means I like gathering intelligence and sharing it with other people. Apparently green also signifies that I enjoy solitude, which I obviously don’t. I mentioned that as the speech was winding down. I said “My personality colour is green and so is the Old Spice,” (the colour of it was green) “I like gathering intelligence and sharing it. But the thing is I HATE solitude. And this is what I think of solitude.” I start spraying the can. Omg!!!! The class erupts laughing. Then I cooled down and said in a serious and inspirational voice “My name is Patrick Rousta (it’s a fake name) and this was my Personal Wheel (name of project)” and the whole class began clapping. They never clapped for any of the other presentations. Even the good ones.

I think I was DHV’d a lot. But that wasn’t because I made everyone laugh. Every half ass pickup artist knows that doing that in front of a class is not a big deal. I’m not saying go screw up your presentation; I’m saying have the balls to do something different for it. I was loved and admired by dozens of hormone-driven teens because I was sure of myself and stuck by it. When you’re presenting, you know you’re nervous. You could feel it. There’s no fooling yourself there. But you have to have the ability to rise above that sense of nervousness and anxiety and push forward for that perfect speech. Hell, even walk around a bit. Don’t shake, don’t stutter, don’t look down unless you’re reading, and speak with a strong confident voice. That’s all it takes and you’re gold. Really, it’s not a big deal.

Thank you for reading & Happy Sarging,
Pairo