I am a genius. And you shall find out why (if you haven’t already figured that out :p) Note: this is a very eventful post :)
Ever since Cognac Lounge back in February I’ve been chillin w/ that cool Chinese guy. Yeah he’s fun to be around, but prob THE worst wingman out there. I see people like him on Keys to The VIP all the time. The ones that have lots of friends but can’t do cold cuts all because they rely on that social value. It’s pretty funny. He doesn’t know about this PUA stuff so he doesn’t recognize that it’s all in his head, but I do so I could tell when he’s afraid to jump off the train. Kids don’t take anything from him! BUT I have been more social w/ my friends from school so I am growing in that sense.
Anyways I went to another event over MARCH BREAK. Didn’t turn out as well as the other ones. This time I was with a whole entourage of people, not the best idea cuz I ended up getting good old AA again...I seriously hate these things. Too many cocks & too many girls who think they’re all that. You gotta spend FOREVER walking around to find a free girl, then when you
do there’s a good chance they’re the ones that don’t like guys grinding on them (hence the fact that they’re alone). & some of them just go for those big tall black guys, not a
short skinny Persian kidd. There’s a pic of me & some girls & another guy, so you get an idea of what I’m talking about :). I can’t lie that kid is nice, clean, layed back & chill. Then there’s me going like :| aww
But I never let that bother me over the next few days. Picked up one omfggfyuwegcuyhweHB10 that i was texting. She had a bf and she gave me her number. Won’t give you too many details about her but I picked her up by going direct. So for those of you out there that are scared to go direct, you’re missin out buddy!
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Now why I am a genius, here is my story:
On April 3rd I went to a local party at a Community Centre that some kids organized in Stouffville (its north of Markham, which is north of Toronto). I had pretty much the same entourage from March break, plus I saw a few of my old hockey buddies!! Yeaaaahh
The beginning of that night was total shit cuz the speakers kept on malfunctioning & the music would stop every few songs. At one point this lasted for a long whiiiillee.
In the time the speakers were out me and my boys started talking to some people we knew. There were two girls (my friend’s friends), one of them was half Chinese. The super cute one saw me and said “Omg hey! Do you remember me??” I look deep into her sexy half-chinked eyes and say “No,” Then I hold her hand, raise it in the air and continue “Here give me a little spin” and she, happily, follows :) I’m the man.
Bullshit. But I wish I did that :(. As it turns out I knew her from before, and apparently I picked up one of her friends from a while back! Score! Social value up! I feel like I just gained a level in Pokémon!
Eventually the music came back on & stayed that way. That’s when people started dancing since we don’t know when the next time it’s gonna stop! Maybe the broken speakers weren’t too bad...
After a few grinds, I was running out of girls to grind on (local dance event). I see one in a group with this total bitch that used to go to my school but I still talk to anyway bitch (again, local dance event). Plus it was We Takin’ Over (one of my fav songs). I started grinding that bitch’s friend & singing along with it!
A plus about these local events is that the girls receive a smaller abundance of guys. It’s more local so I guess they feel safe & are more willing to grind with you. Cuz this girl wouldn’t leave after like 4 songs straight.
I realized we couldn’t keep grinding like this or it would get boring, so as one would do in bed, I told that woman to turn around! & she obviously did and we went front to front, hugging really close & dancing along. Eruiabyrur Thats my fav kind of dancing! :D It seriously is, I love the closeness. So warm :)
So we’re doing that & feeling each other. Nothing below the belt of course. But when in a situation like that I say let your hands run free. Which is kinda ironic but w/e, it’s true. Wherever they wanted to go I let them. Eventually she brought hers to my hair (head hair, not chest hairs) & mine went up to her neck where there’s skin to touch (she was wearing one of those slim sweaters). We stopped moving our hips to the song & slowly swayed as we entangled our sweaty bodies together (Eww I got girl-sweat on my shirt!) and it was pretty nice. At that point I remembered something Mystery said a loonnngg time ago about gently grabbing the back of a girl’s hair & it feeling really good. So I did that and I swear to god I heard a slight moan. Crazy shit. I didn’t want to give her too much so I brought my hand back down to her neck & held it firm. Now I see why some pornstars sometimes choke each other when they’re having sex. Cool!
Eventually they played a faster song so we started moving our hips fast again (I led that bitch!). But then eventually that stupid bitch that used to go to my school came back & was like “Pairo, I need to borrow my friend!” Now I started using my natural instincts and ignored whatever PUAs told me about Mother Hens and say “Aww, for how long?” (in a friendly tone of course). She answers “For the whole night! She actually has to go!”
We then break up from our embrace (& I was really sweaty man) but we still had 1 arm around each other’s shoulders. I sigh and say “Alright, what’s your info?” and hand her my cellphone. She gives me hers and we exchange. Sweet! I got a number! Her phone was nice too. I could tell she was a rich girl from around the area (the place was in a small town near Markham. Most of the people there were rich kids that live on farms & golf courses:) ) Then she leaves and I get back to the night.
As the night dwindled most of the girls & guys started leaving. It was around midnight at this point. There was only 1 group of girls still dancing & I was one of the few guys to still dance with girls. Here’s where things get interesting.
When I was with some of my boys, one of them stepped on my shoe by accident. I started joking around & yelling at him. Some guy by the wall starts yelling at me & asks me why I’m yelling at himself. I walk up to the guy by the wall & he asks me again why I was yelling at him. I tell him “I was talking to my friend. I don’t even know who the fuck you are, why would I yell at you?” and he gets pissed off that I swore at him & still thinks I yelled at him. I turn around, walk away back to my boys. He follows. The whole thing starts up again & he pushes me, but people step in & separate us.
Now there’s a huge commotion & Security walks in, pulls me to the side & tells me to leave. I asked him why should I when I’m the one who walked away blablabla. I get let back in & people are talking about what happened and shit. Uggghh I hate when people ask me these things because it was only a push. It’s around this point that I find out my other friends are leaving soon. There’s no way in hell I’m staying here alone and call my folks to pick me & one of my friends up. Anyway now the other kid wants to fight me but I’m not biting so I stay inside. I’m talking to some people and security lets the guy back in, he very rudely interrupts and says “Hey I wanna talk to you buddy & if your friend wants to get his ass kicked he can but I wanna talk to you” I say “We’re talking now, go ahead” and he just goes on and on about stupid shit (he’s a lil drunk too) about how I swore at him & yelled at him. I get bored of this so I turn around and walk away AGAIN.
As I’m walking he pushes me from behind. A fairly weak push that just moves me forward so I ignore it. Next he tries taking a swing at my stomach from behind! It didn’t work out as well for him (he tried punching my stomach from behind) but it was a well technique punch, and he’s still going at it. So I push him away from the side, keep walking with my back turned. Next thing I know his friend punches me in the back of the head! Before I could even turn security comes in again. Now I’m DEFINITELY getting kicked out.
But security was nice. They wanted me out for sure but not in a mean way at least. There was a huge commotion again (this was near the front where everyone was leaving) and I heard one of my buddies that I haven’t seen in 2 years giving me his support saying “Don’t fight him Pairo.”
This was a guy that I hated in gr 7. One day in the halls I took a swing at him, a teacher saw, and after some heavy talking I got suspended for 1 day. Very disorganized. That was in gr 7. I saw him there today & I was just happy to see my old friend from elementary school & he showed mutual respect. We both know & understand we were just kids & could put that aside. Since then I learnt not to fight people at school where authorities are present, then a year later I just stopped getting into fights period. They’re completely 100% useless. Some cases sure, but I have yet to encounter important enough situations for me to fight. It’s not even fun anyway. Wrestling is fun, hockey is fun, locker boxing is fun, but not fighting.
Back to the story: the kid was taken out (obviously) since he was the aggressor. His boys went with him too. They were waiting for me to come outside. Security wanted to get me out through the back & take me to Main st. And tell my rents to pick me up there. After some talk & compromising I get my friend that I’m supposed to drive & leave w/ the security guard. Sexy.
BUT WAIT THATS NOT ALL. I’m walking w/ the security (I feel so big), my boy (let’s call him JD), and myself. He takes us to a CIBC bank that has a huge sign and tells me to tell my rents to pick me up there. Then he leaves to go back and help his fellow security guard handle the situation. Me & JD are now walking towards the bank, alone. Suddenly, we hear two really loud, young looking cars approaching. I ignored it but JD is black so he has an intuition that it’s the guys from the event looking for us. I don’t think it is but it’s not worth risking at this point, since they just passed us & slowed down. I’m thinking “Oh shit!” cuz we’re alone and there’s nothing we could do since they’re coming...in TWO cars!!!
First instinct we have is to get indoors and just open the doors to the place that’s right beside us, a bank. We are in the small room by the entrance with a couple ATMs, but then second door to the inside of the bank is locked and there are clear windows, which still leaves us visible from the outside! Luckily the windows don’t go all the way to the ground, and from past movie experience, I get the instinct to get in a corner and duck, and immediately I get down with my ass down in a doggystyle position, as does JD, whose head is conveniently right by my ass! How bromantic.
But I only processed that last bit of information after I heard and saw, through the reflection of the glass, both cars speeding back. After a few minutes, nobody walks in. I call my mom & tell her to pick me up by the bank. Turns out she’s just leaving home, which means 20 more minutes like this! But I’ll take this to a pack of pissed off teens any day.
I felt bad for my friend that I got him in a situation like this, so to kill off the tension I say I’m about to fart. He takes it seriously & says it’s ok (remind you he’s a tall guy and the entrance was small, so his head is touching my ass) I smile & shift so it’s not too bad for him :)
Eventually my mom gets here. As it turns out JD and me were hiding in a Scotia Bank, which is RIGHT beside the CIBC. My excuse for them picking us up here was that there were some sketchy kids nearby and we didn’t want to get caught alone. Perfect mix of truth and lie, perfect excuse. Apparently there were some sketchy kids waiting inside CIBC... They even asked her if she was calling the police when she took out her phone to call me (which makes me feel 38294743578346x worse that they even interacted with her). Holy Shit :.
Final Thoughts:
My situation right now is a weird one. As weird as it sounds, I got into PUA to get a social life. To gain a social life that I lacked from school (I had plenty of acquaintances, just no one good to truly hangout with). That started working out pretty well, but because of PUA I couldn’t get out of pick-up mode when it came to interacting with girls. I started being a guy’s guy (not a man’s man) and had no good ladyfriends since I tried picking all of them up. This is ironic because back when I was the man, I was sad that I had too many female friends and not enough guy friends...Funny how things turned around.
But now I’m starting to relax and become more chill, and I’m starting to get closer to females, actually care about them (I didn’t for a while cuz I thought they were dumb and do nothing but steal from guys) and getting back to my old ways, mixed with a bit of the PUA Pairo. I have to say I like this combination. I really do. The only problem is that now my guy friends are guys, they don’t pick up and I could recognize that they are scared because I am educated on the topic. No way in hell I’m introducing them to this stuff.
It really felt cool that I knew a girl whose friend I picked up. She was cute too :). There’s alot more gaming to do before I could get good, but like I mentioned before, I’ll take it like Pokémon. I’ll keep doing it, gain experience, level up, learn new moves, and evolve.
That closeness with that girl was real good too. It felt nice and every time I think about it, I swear my penis moves. But there was something intriguing about it. Last time I fingered a girl, but with her I was nowhere below her waistline, not even on her ass. My hands stayed above the waist, which is good because it shows I’m different and classy. Of course if she moved my hands down there I would finger her, but I was pretty content where I was :). I’m going back to my old ways, & it feels good.
Now the incident was weird. On the next day at school people kept asking me if I’m alright, which I absolutely hate because NOTHING even happened. Sure I took one punch in the back of the head, but that didn’t even hurt! I’m a big boy, I could take one! It pisses me off so much because in hockey, I’m not very good at body checking and as a result I’m the guy that gets checked. The big hits too. But I’m also the guy who always gets up almost immediately because I don’t want to waste my time on the ice. It pisses me off when the other players on my team ask me if I’m alright. Of course I’m alright! If I wasn’t I wouldn’t have gotten up!!
I’m also not a very good story teller, which is something I will have to fix if I’m to get good at this.
The “fight” was my first real experience like that. Apparently the guys waiting out front for me were gonna knife me (I personally never heard anything about knives or seen any that night). And apparently if most of the people there stayed that late, we would’ve had more backup & taken them. I also personally don’t care. I never got the idea of “back” and think it’s a sign of weakness that you judge how tough you are buy just knowing people that would show up to a fight. I never liked the idea of other people fighting my battles or on my behalf. We’re not fighting for land, or money, or freedom, so to me there’s no reason why more than one person can get involved.
The most unbearable thing for me was that if those guys came into our bank instead of CIBC, I would’ve hated myself if JD got beat up because of me. I don’t mind getting beat up, but other people because of me I do. In that time we were waiting for my folks to arrive I was thinking of what would happen and what I would do if they came in here. I really did have no clue. I’d do what Eminem did in 8 Mile and let them swarm me and kick me, but I wouldn’t let that happen to JD. I doubt I’ll even get myself in a situation like that again.
It feels pretty good though. I know I’m only saying that because I stood up and walked away scot-free, but it’s good to have that sense of adventure again >:). I was just there having a good time and ended up with most of the girls there. Around the end when there were less people that was clearly visible. I’m more determined than ever to soar to the top of my game now. Like I said I’m going back to my old ways (which is good) and old sparks are being rekindled inside me and my passion for things is coming back. Level up!
Even in rejection may you be triumphant,
Pairo the Fire Starter
PS. EVERYONE OUT THERE LOOK OUT FOR DARREN SHAN’S NEW BOOK HELL’S HORIZON IN STORES NOW. THANK YOU
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